August Turns 9

 Dear August,

Happy 9, my baby boy. My soft spot for you grows bigger every single year. To know you is to love you. Your goofiness, imagination, your inherent need for everyone around you to be happy, always the peacemaker and comedian.

You’re still a night owl and love to sleep in just a little bit more than either of your siblings. You're forever invested into whatever it is we’re reading to you at night, putting you at the top of your words read for your 3rd grade class. We joke and say your brain is 85% football facts, and your favorite game to play before bed to stretch the night just a little bit longer is to name a football player from every single NFL team. Your bedtime wishes to the universe are for the Steelers to find a decent quarterback this year. I often say goodnight and dim your lights, only to watch you finish out plays in a whisper with your football minifigures on your nightstand as I walk away.

You love a theme and an outfit, usually dressed head to toe in football or baseball gear. You got glasses this year and look impossibly cute when you wear them to watch TV or to see the whiteboard in class. We call you a golden retriever, always wanting to be outside.  You’re happiest when someone is throwing passes to you in the front yard and could do it forever.

You played travel soccer, flag football, and basketball this year, slowly growing more confident on the field. Your soccer team got pummeled playing a year up, but you always shrugged it off, especially if you were able to get the ball in the back of the net that game. You led your team in that. Your flag football season was your favorite and every time you made a catch or got in the endzone your celebration dances were the highlight of my month. In basketball you really came out of your shell and scored a layup during your semi-final game that made you the proudest and will remain a core memory for you. You just decided you wanted to try baseball this spring for the first time, joining a group of kids who have likely played since toddlerhood. Overall, I’m always so proud that you’re not scared to try. You never have to be the best at something to love it, and that’s something that I admire about you the most. 

3rd grade has been so good to you, folded under the wing of the most empathetic and caring teacher, surrounded by so many of your best friends in the same class. Math is still a challenge for you and something that we work really hard for you to master. Giving you all the credit where credit is due because you take your seat at our dining room table and study for hours with us the nights leading up to your tests. Sometimes it's not the natural talent, but the work ethic, that produce long term results and something makes me feel like this is a quality of yours that will really set you apart.

You love spaghetti, Nutella, and salami and could easily live on all 3. Forever a chocolate guy since you could talk.

We took a trip to the Dominican Republic for Oskar’s 10th birthday and you absolutely loved playing in the sand and sun. You’re already dreaming up where you want to go when you turn 10 next year, looking up 2026 football schedules and when the Vikings might play the Steelers. Something tells me we’re going to be heading to Minnesota as a family.

Recently we surprised you with a puppy, coming home on your birthday, and nobody needs a dog more than you. I know that your bond will be so special and he will love you more than anything. After all, who could be a better friend for a puppy than a boy who lives outside.

Your 9th birthday party will be the perfect one for you: a group of your best friends and a turf field with footballs to throw around and soccer balls to pass. We got you a 3D printer for your birthday so you can run off all of the fidget toys and gadgets to play with—a very August coded thing.

My biggest wish for you is to love yourself and to be confident in yourself. It’s not easy being in the shadow of a big brother and second in line to a still very needy little sister. With a laugh and a giggle that could change the world, there’s no reason to ever doubt yourself.

I will never forget the day you were born. How full of excitement we were, how easy the day went. You came into the world so quickly but so peacefully, and sitting there staring at your newborn face is etched into my brain forever. There’s no love greater than a love like the love I feel for you.

August, I love you forever. Happy 9.

 

Love,

Mama

 

 

Maren Turns 5

 

Dear Maren,

Today you’re 5. You’ve been crossing off days on a self-made countdown calendar for a month now, giving me what should have been a gracious amount of time to prepare. On one hand, I always feel like the time is slipping through my fingers, always just out of my grasp. On the other hand, you’re so ready to be 5. Brilliant, vibrant, and full of life. We who get to watch our babies grow up—we’re the lucky ones.

Your happiest days are spent outside, imaginatively playing with neighborhood friends and stopping just long enough to grab a snack before heading outside again. Our backyard retaining wall has been transformed into a mud kitchen where you mix and bake dirt, grass, and sticks together for hours. You learned to ride a two-wheeler this year, dead set on breaking just about record in our family after learning how to swim just a few months before. You’re never not moving unless you’re coloring or beating someone at a board game. God bless Crayola.

Still early to rise, you’re up with Oskar on most mornings before the world wakes up, peddling art projects and flying through reems of paper. I wake up most mornings to rainbow and heart cards with "I love you mama" scribbled inside. I started a pile of them which got so overwhelmingly large that I recently had to pare it down. My favorite card lately is one written out to "My 2 hearts", meaning to me and your dad. Not sure I’ll ever get over that one.

You spend most weekdays in a kindergarten class even though you’re 4, both because you were ready and because we certainly weren’t signing up for another year of a forced nap time at school. Through this classroom you've learned site words, addition, subtraction, and the beginning stages of reading which you enthusiastically demonstrate through a few books you’ll read to us at bedtime. You'll go roaring into your first year of official kindergarten this fall.

Your favorite foods list has been cut quite short as compared to my chubby cheeked toddler who would eat just about anything. Now when we play "best part / worst part" at dinner time and you have to tell us your least favorite part about your day, it’s always the food in front of you.

You love unicorns, hearts, smiley faces and rainbows, and want your hair in a loose pony every morning. Your hair is incredibly long, and it’s been a staunch refusal to cut it for 2 solid years—we’re currently in negotiations.  You love puzzles, board games, and reading, and remind me a lot of Oskar in that way. You have no stranger danger and will talk to anyone about anything and still remember people or conversations you had such a long time ago. You hold your own, and in a house with two big brothers, its them who are a little scared of you.

You’re girlie but you’re not, preferring soccer to babydolls but want to wear pink shorts while scoring goals. You still play with August who has the last remaining traces of childhood imagination in him. I always stop to watch you together because I know this time is fleeting.

We recently surprised you and your brothers with a puppy who is coming home at the end of March. You loved holding him and petting him, and when we asked you how you felt about getting another brother, you said, "As long as it’s not a human for God’s sake."

Some of my favorite time with you is at bedtime, snuggled up and reading together. We’ve finally graduated to falling asleep on your own, contentedly drifting off to the sound of stories on your Tonie Box despite your emphatic insistence that "sleep is boring".

Maren, you’re larger than life and we are obsessed with you. Your personality fills the room and the stories about you are endless, never not making us laugh.  May you always feel this confident, this powerful, this strong.

To my last baby, you’re one of my biggest dreams come true. I’ve loved you for five whole years—here’s to forever more.

 

Love, mama

 

My Favorite Things from 2024

Happy New Year! At the beginning of each year, I scroll through all of my Amazon purchases from the previous year to see what I loved the most (and where I could do better in managing spending). I always like to round up those favorite things that I reach for every day that I would buy again and again if given the chance and share them here. Without further ado: 

1. Dr Dennis Gross LED Laser Mask: 

This has been transformative for my skin. At this price tag, you have to commit to use it at least daily for 3 minutes (I've been using it twice a day). A small time for noticeable results. My dark spots are fading and fine lines are softening after only 6 weeks of use. A good way to starve off Botox for a little while longer.

2. Waking Pad: 

This has been life changing for me--an employee with an office job. I put my Apple Watch on my ankle so it can record my steps better, and walk at a manageable pace while listening to calls all morning. My step count has been in the 20,000s every day.

3. Vitamin C Serum: 

I re-bought this 7 times in 2024. I use this every morning before sunscreen, which gives me a great dewy base.

4. Full Zip Hoodie: 

I bought 3 of these last year. Flattering with leggings and so comfortable to lounge or work out in. I love everything I've ever bought from this brand.

5. Dyson Vacuum: 

I finally bit the bullet after many years of cheaper options. It was worth every single penny. There's not a day I don't reach for it, and the suction is so powerful I have a hard time moving it across the floor unless I lower the setting.

6. Diamond Bracelet: 

I get so many compliments on this fake diamond bracelet that I wear every day. 

7. Sambas: 

The perfect shoe * does exist *. You can truly wear these with anything and look chic.

8. Favorite Denim: 

I grab these almost every day. You can't go wrong with a high waisted wider leg from Levis.

9. Hair Clips: 

These look a little nicer than a traditional claw clip for going out or heading to the office.

Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy: What to Expect and a Day by Day Pain Scale

In July, our 10-year-old went through a scheduled tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy due to the size of his tonsils, snoring, and sleep apnea. My time spent in the depths of the Internet preparing for the procedure cannot be overstated, and nerves were high for all of us (even his dad, who is a physician). People did not hold back in telling me how terrible recovery was going to be and how intolerable the pain would be. I'm here to offer a totally transparent, overview of our son's recovery process, including a pain scale for each day. This is the information I was after and was never able to find in one place. I'm also including everything that we purchased that significantly helped in his recovery that I would highly recommend having on hand.

Day 0: Surgery Day

Our son's arrival time at the surgery center was scheduled for 11:45am. He was not permitted any solids or fluids outside of water, Gatorade, or apple juice past midnight the night before. He woke up the day of surgery with a ton of nerves and sipped water and Gatorade until 9:45AM, which was the cut off for clear liquids. We arrived at Pre-Op and reviewed medical history and met with the surgical team for about an hour, at which time it was go-time. I was able to head back with our son to anesthesia, where he was given a mask to breathe in to (no pokes or IVs while awake). After a few breaths, he was already sleepy and nearly sedated, and they sent me to the waiting room with a number to monitor his surgical progress on a TV screen.

They had prepared us for a surgery time of 30-40 minutes. However, our son's status moved from PRE-OP to SURGERY IN to SURGERY OUT in 6 minutes flat. I actually called the emergency line thinking that the procedure was not able to be performed, but right as they were reassuring me over the phone, the surgeon strolled down the hall to let us know that everything was over and successful. They had let us know that they would allow our son to sleep for up to an hour post surgery before waking him up and allowing us back to see him, but it only took about 50 minutes for him to wake up on his own. He was still loopy and out of it when we went back, and over the course of the following hour was pretty uncomfortable. Waking up from the anesthesia was probably the hardest part of surgery day. However, about an hour later, he was fully awake and moved to an upright chair to sit in and he felt substantially better (likely from the Fentanyl he was given through IV during surgery). We headed home after about 2.5 hours in Post-Op, and the rest of the day was very manageable in terms of pain. He only ate popsicles and slushies and the hardest part was probably how hungry he was, but did not complain about being in significant discomfort.

Pain Scale: 5/10

Day 1 Post Op:

This day was a harder day. There were tears a few times and he felt discouraged about his pain and swelling. He was hungry but wouldn't eat anything outside of popsicles and Italian ice. Ice cubes were comforting for him to suck on and to chew. He wore his head wrap much of the day and liked the heat as opposed to the ice in the pads within it. This said, the pain was not unmanageable, and we made it through. Now that we've made it fully through recovery, this was the hardest day in hindsight.

Pain Scale: 7/10

Day 2 Post Op:

Pain became much better as compared to day 1. He ate a half of a scrambled egg, finely diced up Ramen noodles, and lots of Danimals smoothies. He was still slow and cautious and mostly spent the day in bed watching TV.

Pain Scale: 5/10

Day 3 Post Op:

This was a good day. He was so much more back to himself and was up, dressed, and building LEGOs. He ate mac and cheese and buttered noodles. He was really feeling encouraged and happy that he was already 3 days through his recovery and said that it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

Pain Scale: 3/10

Day 4 Post Op:

The day went very well and he was even outside playing with the neighbors (with MANY reminders from me to make sure he took it easy). He ate the same menu of soft foods. By evening, he was complaining more of pain and wore his headwrap, but after his next dose of meds, was back to the earlier / lower pain threshold he was at. 

Pain Scale: 4/10

Day 5 Post Op:

I was really waiting for things to take a bad turn on Day 5, but he continued feeling good during the day. He was outside playing with neighbors again, eating fluffy pancakes, yogurt, garlic bread, and ice cream, and overall, wandered around the house being bored. At around 6:00pm, some pain hit him pretty hard and he used his head wrap with ice. There were some tears and I was wondering if our luck was going to finally run out, but after his next dose of Ibuprofen a new movie, and some time spent laying down and resting, he felt well again.

Pain Scale: 3/10 (day); 8/10 (for a few hours at night)

Day 6 Post Op:

This day was an overall grumpy, cranky, and discouraging day for him. He was tired of having a sore throat, tired of having no outlet to wrestle and play soccer, and tired of not being able to eat the food he loves. His pain was generally fine, but there were a few times where it spiked, accompanied with tears. Again, the head wrap, lots of water, and pain medicine took the edge off. It was at this point that I realized the mental part of recovery was just as hard as the physical one.

Pain Scale: 6/10 (day); 8/10 (for a few hours at night)

Day 7 Post Op:

Another tougher day mentally. At this point, he was just done feeling not himself and really started to feel frustrated which came out through crying several times. His pain was fine during the day but increased in the evening. Sucking on ice and wearing the head wrap always do the trick. 

Pain Scale: 6/10 (day); 8/10 (for a few hours at night)

Day 8 Post Op:

The scabs are officially coming off. Lots of complaints of burning and stinging. Intermittent pain as a result. Nothing unmanageable through Tylenol and Ibuprofen, but modified diet to remove anything that might increase his throat even more irritation (acids, Gatorade). He was frustrated from the pain this day but also hopeful that his recovery now had an end in sight.

Pain Scale: 7/10

Day 9 Post Op:

Almost back to normal. He said the pain was minimal but I still gave him his Ibuprofen and Tylenol through the day. He ate almost completely normally--welcome back pizza!

Pain Scale: 2/10

Day 10 Post Op:

Nearly 100% with the exception of still needing pain meds. I went with the strategy of only giving them when he complained of pain, but as it turns out, this was like clockwork as soon as the previous dose ran its course. He still has some scabbing in the back of his throat (though almost gone), so I figure there's a reason why they call it a 10-14 day recovery. I'm sure the meds will be needed less and less over the next few days, but overall, I'm calling this thing COMPLETE.

Pain Scale: 2/10

BIGGEST RECOVERY TIPS:

• Sleep upright on a wedge pillow with a humidifier blasting and take sips of water throughout the night. We never had any issues with sleep (other than the fact that it was often interrupted by alarms going off for Tylenol and Ibuprofen).
• Never miss a dose of Ibuprofen/Tylenol (this is all we were given, and it was sufficient). Make sure you record/log your doses because it all gets confusing, especially through the night. Continue meds through at least Day 10.
• Stay hydrated. I strongly feel this was the biggest factor. Continuing to keep your throat moist keeps pain under control. Chewing gum also helps.

LIST OF MUST-HAVES FOR RECOVERY:

Heated Wrap for around neck: https://amzn.to/4d3dRyt

Heated or iced head wrap: https://amzn.to/3W6otG7

Wedge Pillow for sleeping upright: https://amzn.to/3zJDvKm

Extra syringes for medicine: https://amzn.to/4cykgSt

Humidifier to run all night at their bedside: https://amzn.to/4bPyuNw

Clear water bottle so you can keep track of fluid consumption: https://amzn.to/3WniYnF

Ice machine has been really helpful and a nice-to-have: https://amzn.to/3SaDKEC

Stock up on dye-free ibuprofen and Tylenol (WAY more than you think you will need. I'd recommend 8 bottles of each). Red food dye must be avoided in case your child vomits so it can be determined easily whether there is blood.

Overall, this experience was such a shockingly and significantly more positive experience than I thought we were doomed for. Prepare for good days with some tougher moments built in. You can definitely make it through these moments. If you're prepared for the worst, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. All this said, it was a solid 10 day recovery and then some. If you're on the fence, it is absolutely worth it to give your child the gift of having this taken care of before they reach adulthood, when this surgery is significantly harder and more painful. 

Wishing anyone in the tonsillectomy boat a speedy recovery--please reach out with any questions!

Oskar Turns 10

 Dear Oskar,

You’re 10. A decade. 10 years of us, of being a mom. I can’t remember life without you. We’ve learned and grown together, and you’ve forged ahead for every milestone. Pushing me ahead even when it sometimes hurts to let go.  Watching you grow has been the joy and heartbreak of my life. 

I feel like we’re entering tween years now, with extra emphasis on hair gel and cool stuff to wear. We have deep conversations and you ask the most insightful questions. You’re a tall and lanky kid, all legs. You read novel after novel and jam out to Green Day and Blink 182—your dad’s dream come true.

Your school year has been the most independent success story. I’ve barely cracked open a folder all year to check on you, and still, you completed every assignment on your own, off the charts in all the things, but especially math. You’re working a year ahead but barely blinked or thought twice about it, solving long division problems down the sides of pages that made me shudder.

So much of your 10-year-old identity is intertwined in soccer. All consuming for many of our week and weekend days, the amount of time you spend on a field is significant. You’ve grown so much as a player and are so incredibly effective at seeing the field and setting up the play. You understand the game and the strategy behind it at a truly deep level, which has brought you so much success. We’re soaring into another year of cup soccer playing at some of the highest levels. We’ve taken you to Philadelphia and Lancaster this year. I love watching you do what you love.

Figuring out what you wanted for your birthday was a conundrum in itself since you’re totally content with what you have. Soccer jerseys and soccer balls were where we landed, to the surprise of no one.

You have a few best friends that mean just about everything to you. Watching the richness that these friendships have brought to your life is something I hope you feel and have for all of the middle and high school years ahead.

You love to play football outside with your brother and dad and have won Super Bowls together countless times in our front yard together. The epitome of boyhood is calling you all in when it’s dark and you’re covered in mud, but really my heart swells because of it.

You’ve been playing drums for over a year now and have absolutely soared, playing along with your dad in the basement like you’re in a high school band. Your musical talent is one of my favorite parts about you and I think you’re pretty proud of the drum solos you can belt out too.

August is your best friend despite the inevitable fighting after any period that feels a little too peaceful. Your interests in soccer, football, video games, and TV shows you watch all really emphasize how close in age you are. When you have friends over, you all play together, and I hope that always stays that way, into adulthood and beyond.

With Maren, your patience is limited and your insistence on teaching her life lessons or your unwavering emphasis on rules in games drives her absolutely insane. You’re older, but not old enough, to exercise a little more tolerance for a 4-year-old who is as stubborn as they come.

The update in this letter that breaks my heart a little is that your little yellow stuffed animal bunnies fell to the wayside this year, no longer meticulously set up on your pillow when you go to bed every night.  They’re tossed to the side of your bed, the most tangible sign that you’re growing up.

You are the most thankful and appreciative kid and you really don’t ask for much, even when we ask (or maybe just expect) a lot from you. It’s not easy being the oldest, leading the way for a brother and a sister who look to you for just about everything. We’re surprising you with a trip to the beach with our family, but really, this one’s for your birthday. It’s been your dream to go to the ocean and I really wanted to make it happen for you on such a big day. I hope it becomes a core memory for you.

Happy, happy birthday, Oskar Henri. The words for how much I love you do not exist.

 Love always,

    Mama

 

August Turns 8

Dear August,

Happy 8^th birthday. My boy full of imagination, the goofiest and silliest, the mushiest of hearts.

Nothing makes you happier than a sunny day and somebody to throw a football to you. A happy-go-lucky pacifist who plays up with Oskar or down with Maren, the glue holding our sibling set together.

Your years have progressed from an all-consuming interest in Batman, to Luigi, to Harry Potter, and now football, always with costumes or uniforms to accompany. We call them your “eras”, and when you’re in one you’re in it big. Your football knowledge has gone through the roof, with you sputtering facts about trades and strategies and players, your mornings spent reviewing film or YouTube videos of the greatest interceptions or worst fumbles. You’ve rewatched the biggest NFL come back of all time more times than I can count, always sitting on the edge of your seat for the result.

This year in school has been an exercise of figuring out how you learn best. Your little body was not meant to sit in a seat for 8 hours a day and we’ve worked in different ways at home for you to be successful. All of the credit and accolades should really go to the kids like you who have to work for it where it doesn’t always come intuitively, and I’m so proud of you for all the time we’ve spent together to make it click.

You are a friend to everybody but still have your favorite handful, and it’s so evident that you found your people when you are with them. The silliest inside jokes and made-up games that nobody else understands: this is the happiness of which 8-year-olds are made.

A lover of sports, you’re still sometimes shy to play them, especially intimidated by anybody who may be older than you. Any frustration of losing is outweighed by you playing well. You’re starting flag football for the first time now, and your ear-to-ear smile after catching a Hail Mary pass in the endzone at practice might just well make your entire season. You finished your first basketball season and by the end, had come all the way out of your shell and had celebration dances after every bucket that had the crowd rolling. You’ve also come so far in soccer, and watching the transition from clusters of kids on a field to the strategy of positioning and passing is so fun. You’re a leader on your team and love putting the ball in the back of the net (and then doing the griddy).

Possibly my favorite new hobby of yours is playing guitar and the way that your dad, Oskar, and you now play music together in the basement. Your dad’s phone is full of videos of the three of you jamming out to a song together, which is something he dreamed about when he had two little boys under two.

This year took you to Disney World, Finland, and Scotland. You loved all of it, especially meeting Pluto and walking the street that inspired Diagon Alley in Harry Potter in Edinburgh. All of our non-vacation weeks are really just spent counting down to the next one that we can go on together.

You still love a good, long sleep and usually doze off to the most obscure songs playing on your Alexa. You’ve gotten into the Goosebumps books series, always gasping at every cheesy cliffhanger, begging us to read on. Before bed every night you have me do a “daily spin”, a pretend gameshow wheel that I trigger by bopping your finger. I get a different sound effect every night depending on where the imaginary wheel lands, and truthfully, I can’t go to sleep without knowing whether I got a bark or a whoosh of wind that night.

You’re so excited to celebrate this birthday with a football party in our basement. The curated plan is to watch all of the YouTube highlights you’ve queued up over the last months with pizza and popcorn in hand with your small group of very best friends. Your gifts from us are all things sports—a jersey you’ve been wishing for, trading cards and a back-of-the-door basketball hoop. Toys are slowly falling to the wayside, the sign of a boy who’s growing up.

August, it’s impossible not to love you. You’re such a ray of sunshine, a friend to everybody, and have the biggest heart with the world's best laugh. The littlest things make you the happiest, and I hope that never changes.

Happy 8^th birthday to my forever baby boy. I love you to the moon.

 

Love,

Mama

 

Maren Turns 4

 Dear Maren,

You’re four years old. Always a hard milestone for me because the baby years are fully behind us, leaving us with a long legged, braid-wearing, brazen little girl.

Your days start with your brothers with the three of you occasionally creeping downstairs without us even knowing. These were the days we dreamt about when nobody in this house was sleeping a handful of years ago, and now, somehow, we’ve arrived. You would live your whole life in pajamas if you could and getting dressed is still notably one of your least favorite parts of the day. Fiercely opinionated about what to wear, your favorite t-shirts and leggings are on repeat with piles of alternate suggestions tossed to the side every morning. Your favorite things are coloring (with such exceptional precision it’s scary), playing board games (especially Guess Who, Zingo, and Dragon’s Breath), playing outside with your neighborhood friends, climbing the front yard tree, reading books, and snuggling up to watch a movie. You never want to go to school but your days go just fine, which has been a running trend from the very beginning. You can count pretty endlessly, can write all of your letters and your first and last name, know all of your letter sounds, know about 25 sight words, and are so interested in reading and doing math like you observe nightly at the homework table. There are no words for the amount of thrilled you were when your Pre-K class issued a red homework folder that looked exactly like your brothers’. You memorize books so that you can “read” them to us—a pretty impressive skill and one of my favorite tricks of yours.  You love the Little Miss book series and if you had to choose a topic to prepare a dissertation on, it would probably be about all of the characters within them.

We’re in the challenging part of toddlerhood where you’ve fully outgrown a nap but have to take one at school, leaving us with long nights with your copious amounts of energy into the 9 and 10 o’clock hours. I’m so ready for you to move into a different classroom in the fall where we can finally leave the very unneeded rest time behind and gain some semblance of a balanced bedtime routine. I asked you why you fall asleep at school when you’re not even tired, and you sighed and said, “When they put that [lullaby] music on it’s like a tranquilizer dart”.

Your favorite food has somehow become Grape Nuts cereal but you don’t know the name of it, and we will forever laugh when you ask for a bowl of crumbs before bedtime. All of your other adventurous eating has slowly fallen to the wayside this year, in true 4-year-old fashion, also frustratingly influenced by your brothers. We are, however, kind of mind blown at the fact that you wont eat a single piece of candy or fruit snack with the exception of some Reese’s peanut butter cups, who should probably sponsor you for that.

To say you’re ahead of your time doesn’t quite do it justice. Your vocabulary, your presence, it’s all bigger than life. Just recently, you marched back into your dentist’s office, leaving me alone in the waiting room while you made your own medical decisions thank-you-very-much.

Your brothers and we love and have a reasonable fear of you. You can hold your own, resulting in some heated sibling interactions. Your brothers go between giggling at your antics to being frustrated about often having to surrender to a 4-year-old’s demands. On the flip side, I still catch you and August imagining and pretending together. His patience is the biggest and he still has just enough little boy in him to play in imaginary worlds with you. Your lingo has developed into a 9 year old’s, with you telling me that your new Paw Patrol toys are “so sick” while you sing along to Blink 182.

This year’s adventures took you to Disney World, Finland and Scotland, and except for the jet lag, you’re an amazing little traveler. You’re ready to take on the world to the surprise of no one.

You started a Little Gym class this year, your first real activity for just you after living at your brothers’ practices and games. You still say you want to be a soccer player when you grow up and number one on your Christmas list this year was “Beadling gear”, the club team that Oskar plays for. You’re starting to practice on your very own team this spring and I can’t wait to watch you play.

When I think back on this year, I’ll always remember your big blue eyes, face smudged with dirt from playing outside, braided hair windblown, and your two fingers popped in your mouth whenever you’re tired. As much as I tell you that you need to stop sucking them, your dentist reported that your teeth were perfectly fine despite the sleepy habit, which you fully understood and reported back to me as an I-told-you-so. You have a lingering scar under your eye and a fresher one on your forehead that warranted stitches but was glued shut by your doctor dad to save us a trip to the ER.

I was so excited to have a little girl, but goodness, I’m even happier to raise one with a belly full of fire. When you were born, August called you “Miss Mouse” when he first met you. Now, every time you win a game or observe something that we haven’t, you remark to yourself, “What a clever little mouse.”

You’re now turning the same age as August was when you were born, a crazy full-circle kind of moment. One thing is for sure: you were meant to be the baby of this family—someone to keep us laughing, and also just a little bit scared, every single day.

Happy 4^th birthday to our beautiful baby girl. You’ve made our family the happiest, and also kept us on our toes, for 4 whole years. We love you, we love you, we love you.

Love,

Mama

 

 

Oskar Turns Nine

Dear Oskar,

Today you are 9. Another year older, another year of those long legs of yours getting even longer, another year of turning everything you touch to gold. It feels good to write these letters at the end of the school year, a look back into where you started and where you are now—always an unimaginable leap ahead in growth and learning. It truly feels like anything you set your mind to you excel at beyond our wildest expectations and we couldn’t be prouder of the human you're becoming.

You wake up at 6am like you always have with the routine of a CEO. We always have to laugh at your militant making of your bed, checking the weather, reading your book, and working on PowerPoint presentations, a true professional in the making before any of the rest of us make it out of bed at all. And then, true to form, you're militantly right back in bed by 8:30 every night, and not a minute later, with you starting to check the time around 7:30 to make sure the schedule stays right on track.

You love school and love to learn, so curious about life and about anything you can’t make sense of, needing to know how it works and why. We always say we need to get you a t-shirt that says, “WAIT, WHAT?”, because if you overhear a conversation or anything that doesn’t make sense to you, you pause everything around you to make sure you fully understand before the world keeps turning.

You’ve made such an amazing group of friends and you care about them all so much, always giving a hug or a high five to anyone you pass in or out of school. Many of them came to your birthday party a few days ago at a big wooden playground that you were so insistent upon. I warned that an outside birthday was always a weather risk, which you then took to Alexa and researched the weather on June 3^rd for the last 25 years.  The odds were in your favor, so we rolled with it. Watching you so happy, wild, and free with 30 boys who were there to celebrate you made my heart so happy. You found your friends to love who all love you right back, and one could argue that there’s nothing more important than that.

You turned into a soccer star this year, playing on a travel team that went undefeated. You were a leading scorer and developed such an amazing strategic understanding of the game—positioning and passing and setting up plays with your other teammates. Your talent didn’t go unnoticed, because when taken to cup tryouts, you were selected after the first night—a true testament to your talent. Above all else, I’m just so glad you found your “thing”, something to continue to work and excel at with some of your best friends and teammates along for the ride.

You also started drum lessons not too long ago. Your math-mindedness has made you a natural, and even your teacher marvels at your patience and determination to get it just right. "I've never met an eight-year-old who has this level of focus", he told me one day. Us either.

In November you had a horrible break to your upper arm at school during recess, requiring a rushed trip to Children’s Hospital, a late night 3-hour surgery, and pins to set the bone in place. Watching you in so much pain was one of the single hardest things I’ve ever had to endure. The recovery was long and slow, and even after your cast came off you still required 7 weeks of physical therapy to regain your strength and mobility. You gave up a lot of what you loved for a long time, and I’m so thankful that the whole ordeal is now finally behind us. It made for a memory we’ll never forget.

Your favorite things are pizza, Green Day, and playing outside with your forever best friend and next-door neighbor Frederick. You started putting gel in your hair every morning before school, a tangible sign of getting older. You’re working your way through the Harry Potter series with your dad and the Mysterious Benedict Society with me.  Your birthday gifts are an assortment of various things we’ve picked up along the way that reminded us of you—a big comfy pillow, a concert t-shirt, a watch (since you always need to know the time), a music stand, some of your favorite books, a Pitt banner, and a Ratatouille pin to add to your Disney pin collection—your favorite ride from your favorite trip we took this year. We’re heading out again to Finland, the Åland Islands, and Scotland in a few short weeks, adding countries 6 and 7 to your passport. Traveling the world feels like my dream coming true every time we set off on another adventure together.

You’re a role model to August, a helper with Maren, and the kind of son that everybody dreams of having. You’re a leader, naturally gifted at everything you try, but also the kindest and most empathetic person who tells me all the time how lucky he is. We are pretty unbelievably lucky, too.

Happy birthday Oskar. We love you, we love you, we love you.

Love, 

Mama